Process

In this section I included the first and final drafts of my personal statement to demonstrate the changes I made based on instructor feedback. I attended office hours to get feedback on my personal statement then revised my personal statement by removing portions of the draft that ruined the flow of the statement. Because the first draft of my personal statement did not flow very well I developed the story about my brother more and left out portions of the personal statement I felt the audience would find less interesting. Once I removed information that was not as pertinent my personal statement became more clear and personal. I based the changes I made to my TELA on the peer review of my TELA and on instructor feedback from the presentation and online submission. The revisions I made to improve my TELA were similar to those I made to my personal statement because I focused on developing the coda to ensure the ending was as strong as the beginning. The revisions I made to my Research Review and Research Proposal were somewhat similar because they were both directed toward scientific audiences. In my presentation of the review and the review itself, I explained concepts the audience was already aware of. I fixed this problem by removing descriptions of procedures that my audience would already understand and focused on analyzing the similarities and differences between the studies. In my research proposal I made changes to sentences that lacked clarity to maintain and develop the research I was discussing. The information in peer reviews and instructor feedback was helpful because it made me realize aspects of my writing that needed improvement and demonstrated the importance of revisions in the writing process. After doing revisions on all my papers I have a better understanding of my strengths and weakness as a writer, as well as methods I can use to revise my writing.

Personal Statement First Draft  Personal Statement After Revisions TELA First Draft TELA Final Draft  Research Review Draft Research Research Review (Final Draft) Wri 116 Res. Prop. Draft Research Proposal